Our words are like spells.
They have the power to change the way people feel, think, and act towards us. That’s why when it comes to love, our words can charm or repel someone.
Even the simplest things you say to a man can make him melt or have him running for the hills.
If you are wondering what you can say to a guy to drive him crazy, the good news is, it’s easy when you know how.
What words attract a man? Read on to find out 30 example phrases to make a man feel like a hero and why they work.
Phrases that trigger his hero instinct
Many of the essential phrases that we’re going to talk about in this article do one significant thing: they trigger a man’s hero instinct.
So I think it’s important before we start to give a quick overview of the hero instinct in case it’s new to you.
The hero instinct is a psychological concept that has been creating a real buzz.
It says that men have a biological urge to provide and protect the people they care the most about.
There’s a really great video you can watch that will give you the best comprehensive guide to the hero instinct and why it is vital in any relationship.
If it is sounding like an outdated notion, then we need to remember that genetic roles are very different from social roles.
These are instincts that were imprinted from 1000’s years of evolution.
For example, a study published in the Physiology & Behavior journal confirms that male testosterone makes them feel protective over their mate’s safety and well-being.
In a nutshell, a guy wants to be your hero. In order to do so, he needs to feel essential, respected, and appreciated by a woman.
And it’s how you behave towards him and what you say that will do this.
That’s why many of the phrases you are about to learn are so powerful. Because they work with his hero instinct to have him eating out of the palm of your hand.
So be sure to check out that free video to learn all the ways you can trigger his hero instinct — not only the things you can say but the little actions and requests you can make of him too.
Phrases that make him feel special
On a planet with over seven and a half billion people, there is still only one of you. That means each and every one of us is totally unique.
We all have little quirks and qualities that make us different. How incredible is that?
The idea of being a unique snowflake has been criticized by people like motivational speaker and author Simon Sinek, who argued in his viral videothat one of the problems with Millennials is exactly this kind of narcissistic thinking.
But at the end of the day, we all want to feel special, especially in the eyes of our romantic partners.
Ironically, even though we spend much of our lives trying to fit in, at the same time, we also desperately want to be seen.
The people we feel most comfortable with in life are usually the ones that just “get us”.
We never feel like we blend into the crowd around them. They see what makes us who we are and they can appreciate the attributes that make us stand out.
Let him know that you see those valuable things within him, that not everybody will notice.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel special:
“I think you are the most ambitious man I’ve ever dated.”
“I can really tell that you listen deeply to people when they talk, I love that about you.”
“It’s clear that you put family first, I think that’s so rare these days and a special quality.”
Phrases that reinforce him
Every single man wants to feel respected.
They want to feel like the man of the house and that they have the strength to lead. That doesn’t mean in any sexist or old-fashioned kind of way, it’s just that every guy wants to feel powerful in their own lives.
One way of exerting our sense of power is through decision-making. Just like all of us, when they make a choice, men want to feel like it was the right one and it will pay off.
By letting him know that you respect his decisions or admire his choices (in big or small ways), you are validating him.
You are effectively saying to him that he has good judgment.
That means, when you think he’s made the right choice, let him know. It doesn’t have to be a huge life-changing decision, it could be as simple as the shirt he picked out to wear to a party.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel validated:
“It was such a good call taking this route instead of the other one, it’s saved us so much time.”
“I’m really glad you said we should go out tonight instead of staying in, this was way more fun.”
“That’s such a great idea, let’s do it.”
Phrases about his sexual prowess
Both men and women can feel a lot of pressure when it comes to sex.
We can worry about body image, how we’ll measure up or whether we will please our partner.
Being intimate with someone is understandably a vulnerable thing, so no wonder plenty of people experience sexual performance anxiety.
There can be a bit of a stereotypical image of sexual masculinitythat guys feel they have to live up to.
Even though it still might be more socially expected for guys to do the “chasing” when it comes to sex, we all want to feel sexy and desired. Feeling virile is all part of his biological drive.
Most men don’t just want to get you into bed, they want to know that they can satisfy you sexually. He wants to feel reassured about his performance in the bedroom.
That’s why if you want to make him feel like a real man, throwing in phrases about his sexual prowess is a sure-fire way to do it.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel like a sex god:
“You turn me on so much.”
“How do you do it? Because I feel like the sex between us is next level.”
“It’s super sexy the way you pick me up and throw me around the bedroom”
Phrases about how he makes you feel
Unless your guy is a total narcissist then, just like in the bedroom, in everyday life he also wants to please you.
We all seek approval from people closest and we all need some feedback for our efforts — otherwise, we’re likely to cut our losses and move on.
It’s funny, we can all be very quick to criticize or let a partner know when they’ve done something to upset us. But we’re not always as quick to tell them all the positive emotions they spark within us.
That means whether he makes you feel sexy, safe, or loved, you should let him know.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel like he pleases you:
“You always manage to cheer me up and make me feel better.”
“You make me so happy, I always wake up smiling when I wake up next to you.”
“You make me laugh so much”
Phrases that make him feel needed
Guys want to feel useful to you.
Of course, you can do everything for yourself if you need to, but part of being in a partnership is teamwork and leaning on one another for support — both practical and emotional.
One of the quickest ways to emasculate a man is to make him feel useless. It’s belittling and will knock anyone’s pride.
That could be things like criticizing when you feel like he got something wrong or didn’t do a task how you would have done it.
For example, if he prepared you a meal and you chose to focus on the mess he made in the kitchen rather than his culinary efforts.
Every man wants to feel capable of helping you out whenever you need him.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel useful to you:
“Babe, can I get your help with this?”
“Can I ask your opinion on something?”
“Do you know how to fix this because I can’t seem to do it?”
Phrases that make him feel nurtured
There’s a popular article on Medium titled “the one thing men want more than sex”.
In it, the male author explains how even though plenty of people think sex is what drives most men, in actual fact a more powerful motivator is to feel cared for.
“Always wanting sex is part of the male persona we wear to show we’re manly. What we really want is a safe harbor where we can take refuge, relax, and be cared for. In other words, we want the feeling of being nurtured that most of us didn’t get enough of when we were children. But admitting these needs makes us feel like little boys, not big strong men.”
Whilst there are obviously biological and cultural differences between men and women, fundamentally all of us also share similar needs.
Ideas of toxic masculinitymay make some men feel reluctant to admit that they too want to feel looked after. But it’s important to remember that guys want to feel loved and supported just as much.
Nurturing phrases remind him that it is safe to be vulnerable with you and let his guard down. They are also powerful words to say to a man to remind him why he needs you.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel cared for:
“I am going to the store, is there anything you’d like me to pick up for you?”
“I’m here for you no matter what happens.”
“I love you.”
Phrases that show you appreciate him
What is one of the most humble yet the most life-changing of emotions?
The answer is gratitude.
There’s been lots of research done on the power of gratitude in our lives. Studies have proved that it makes you happier, whilst others show it has a long-lasting effect on the brainwhich improves wellbeing.
It’s not so surprising then that the magical effects of gratitude are just as significant in relationships too.
Apparently, when we notice great things in our partner, it prompts us to find even more we like about them. The more appreciation we show, the more we are also prepared to compromise and sacrifice for our other half.
When we don’t feel appreciated in a relationship, unsurprisingly, we’re more likely to get a wandering eye.
There are plenty of simple ways of acknowledging and being grateful for what he does for you, but simply telling him is one of the most effective.
Example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel appreciated:
“Thank you for doing that, I know you go out of your way for me, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it.”
“I feel so lucky to have you.”
“You do so much for me, you are the best.”
Phrases that celebrate him
Remember when you were a kid and you did something that really made your parents proud? Maybe you won a prize in something or got a really good grade.
How did it make you feel? Pretty great I’m guessing.
The truth is that even once we’ve grown up, we all still want to be successful and do well. Nothing prompts pride in us like the recognition of a job well done from those important to us.
It’s why you’ll no doubt leave the office with a big smile on your face when your boss celebrates something you’ve done.
The same is true for your man. Of course, we don’t ever want to lay it on too thick and come across as patronizing.
Ultimately though, he wants to be your hero, so the more you make him feel like he really is, the better he will feel. If you really want to trigger this emotion in him, be sure to big him up when others are around too.
3 example emotional trigger phrases to make him feel proud:
“You’re so smart.”
“You’ve been working so hard recently, I’m so impressed.”
“Did you make that? It’s amazing.”
Phrases that give him freedom
The thought of “settling down” can be equal parts exciting and terrifying.
A lot of us are looking to find the oneand create a strong relationship with someone so that we can share our lives together.
At the same time, we may feel like it sometimes comes at the sacrifice of our freedom. Of course, healthy relationships enhance our lives rather than restrict them.
Showing him that you are independent is incredibly sexy to most guys. When people are independent, they don’t feel the need to try to control others.
They aren’t needy or clingy. They’re happy to let their partner have autonomy over their own lives, because they feel secure in themselves and their relationship.
Desperation is one of the biggest turn-offs. That’s why he will realize you’re special if you can show him that you understand you won’t always be his number one priority, and that’s ok.
Whether it’s going out with friends, spending some time alone, or giving him the room to pursue his own interests —show a man you aren’t trying to “tie him down” and he’ll be even more drawn to you.
3 example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel free
“It’s ok, I trust you.”
“If you feel like going out with your friends, don’t stay home on my account.”
“No problem if you are busy, I’ll call a friend and see if she wants to hang out.”
Phrases that challenge him
You’ve probably heard that men like the “chase” of a relationship. That’s because it’s actually human nature to be suspicious of anything that seems to come our way a bit too easily.
Guys are looking for a healthy challenge, rather than someone who is too keen or a total pushover.
He will respect you when you challenge him. If he feels like you have high standards, then it makes him feel good to know that he is worthy of your attention.
It’s not about playing games, but it is about self-respect.
That means it’s good to show him that you are selective, but that he qualifies for what you want in a man.
3 example emotional trigger phrases that will make him feel challenged:
“I’m really happy being single, so I don’t jump straight into relationships.”
“I never “play” hard to get, I don’t need to because I am hard to get.”
“It takes a while to earn my trust.”
In summary: 30 phrases that ignite desire in a man
Whilst igniting desire in a man can sometimes feel like daunting territory, the phrases that trigger his hero instinct are the best way to get immediate results.
Understanding how a man’s biology impacts his psychological wiring means you can feed him the simple words, phrases, and actions to make him feel fulfilled in any relationship.
It’s like getting a cheat sheet for how your man ticks.
So I encourage you to make some time to watch the free video on the hero instinct so you truly understand exactly how to put it to use.
Along with a step-by-step blueprint for triggering the hero instinct in your man, you’ll learn things you can say, texts you can send, and the little requests you can make.
Here’s the link to that video again.
And here’s your complete list of mesmerizing phrases to say to a man to have him eating out of the palm of your hand:
- I think you are the most ambitious man I’ve ever dated.
- I can really tell that you listen deeply to people when they talk, I love that about you.
- It’s clear that you put family first, I think that’s special and rare.
- It was such a good call taking this route instead of the other one, it’s saved us so much time.
- I’m really glad you said we should go out tonight instead of staying in, this was way more fun.
- That’s such a great idea, let’s do it.
- You turn me on so much.
- How do you do it? Because I feel like the sex between us is next level.
- It’s super sexy the way you pick me up and throw me around the bedroom
- You always manage to cheer me up and make me feel better.
- You make me so happy, I always wake up smiling if I wake up next to you.
- I feel so protected whenever I’m with you.
- Babe, can I get your help with this?
- Can I ask your opinion on something?
- Do you know how to fix this because I can’t seem to do it?
- I am going to the store, is there anything you’d like me to pick up for you?
- I’m here for you no matter what happens.
- I love you.
- Thank you for doing that, I know you go out of your way for me, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it.
- I feel so lucky to have you.
- You do so much for me, you are the best.
- You’re so smart.
- You’ve been working so hard recently, I’m so impressed
- Did you make that? It’s amazing.
- It’s ok, I trust you.
- If you feel like going out with your friends, don’t stay home on my account.
- No problem if you are busy, I’ll call a friend and see if she wants to hang out.
- I’m really happy being single, so I don’t jump straight into relationships.
- I never “play” hard to get, I don’t need to because I am hard to get.
- It takes a while to earn my trust.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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To build emotional attraction with a man, be an active listener, share personal experiences, and show affection using his love language. A man feels emotionally attracted to someone when he feels understood and loved for his true self, so don't be afraid to be vulnerable—it might encourage him to open up to you.What words trigger a man? ›
- I think you are the most ambitious man I've ever dated.
- I can really tell that you listen deeply to people when they talk, I love that about you.
- It's clear that you put family first, I think that's special and rare.
What is a trigger word? A trigger word (also known as a power word) is an emotionally colored word or expression used to provoke a psychological reaction in readers (in our case – email recipients) by involving their imagination. Power words appeal to all types and shades of human emotions.How do you know if a man is emotionally attracted to you? ›
He may not only like to spend time with you, but he might like spending a lot of time with you. Feeling attached at the hip can be one of the most obvious signs a man is attracted to you. He'll likely use his free time, which may usually be reserved for relaxation and hanging out with his friends or family, for you.What is a man's secret obsession? ›
What Is the Secret Obsession Every Man Has Inside Him? According to James Bauer's book “His Secret Obsession,” a man has a deep secret urge that is more intense and powerful than hunger, and thirst. James refers to this strong biological desire as Hero Instinct. A man wants to feel irreplaceable during this drive.How do you touch a man emotionally? ›
Touch his cheeks, his forearms, his inner thighs, the back of his wrists, his forehead, his bare knees, or even graze his lips with your hands. These are all classic erogenous zones that are sure to leave him titillated!How do you trigger a man's instinct? ›
- Let him make decisions for you. ...
- Flirt with your man. ...
- Tell him jokes. ...
- Spend time with him. ...
- Don't be clingy. ...
- Let him protect you sometimes. ...
- Talk to him about his life. ...
- Tell him he's important.
- Smile. TODAY. ...
- Don't hide in the corner. ...
- Ask for his help. ...
- Talk about your hobbies. ...
- Don't dress for your girlfriends. ...
- Look him in the eye. ...
- Avoid the obvious. ...
- Go out alone or with one other friend.
Words that create urgency: If someone is teetering on the fence of a purchase decision, a few well-placed words that create urgency can push them over. These words include options such as urgent, now, limited, hurry, only, temporary, rare, exclusive, act, instant, today and immediate.Which of the following is a high arousal emotion? ›
Anger and joy tend to be high arousal, while sadness and reflection have low arousal levels.
Emotion-arousing stimulus leads to a conscious feeling (fear, anger) and a physiological response. Seeing an angry dog triggers feelings of fear and physical responses such as trembling.How do you tell if he feels the chemistry too? ›
- Instant Fascination. Save. ...
- Body Language. If there's one thing, apart from your eyes, that can give away what you feel, it is your body language. ...
- Intense Eye Contact. ...
- Flirting. ...
- Always Smiling. ...
- Noticing Small Things/Changes. ...
- Losing Track Of Time. ...
“Emotional intimacy could be defined as allowing yourself to connect more deeply with your partner through actions that express feelings, vulnerabilities and trust,” says Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist in New York City and faculty member in Columbia University's clinical psychology Ph.How do I know if I'm physically attracted to him? ›
When you are physically attracted to a person or emotionally, you don't normally do things. A few signs of true attraction are fidgeting, frequent body contact, making eye contact, free-flowing conversations, and laughs.What is a man's most primal inner desire? ›
The hero instinct is a man's desire to protect his loved ones and feel needed. Relationship specialist James Bauer coined the term in his book His Secret Obsession. Bauer claims that all men have a biological drive to earn your love in order to feel in love with you. Men want to feel that you appreciate and need them.What is the quickest way to a man's heart? ›
The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.How do men act when they are in love? ›
When he's falling in love, everything is likely to become about her. He can't stop thinking about her and would rather be spending time with her than doing anything else. He may feel scared about the relationship and where it's headed, or he might just have a comfortable feeling about the entire thing.How to mentally stimulate a man? ›
- 1 Create a list of interesting topics.
- 2 Discuss movies after watching them.
- 3 Play mentally stimulating games.
- 4 Pick a topic for a story.
- 5 Try out each other's hobbies.
- 6 Help each other with projects.
- 7 Choose new things to do together.
Men Need Love and Affection
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.
- Go on regular dates. ...
- Spend time by yourself. ...
- Go back to where you had your first date. ...
- Focus on communication. ...
- Laugh together. ...
- Get away together. ...
- Try to understand each other. ...
- Listen to Them.
Both men and women consistently cite emotional stability and maturity as one of the most attractive traits in a potential spouse. While men often fall victim to the stereotype of prioritizing physical attraction, when it comes to a potential wife, they want a woman who is grounded and secure in herself.What do men crave romantically? ›
Men love physical intimacy. Not just sex, even a non-sexual touch is something that can make them go crazy. Cuddling, hugging from behind, playing with their hair or touching their neck gives them a feeling of being loved. All these actions give them a sense of attachment, passion and care which every guy loves.What makes a man crave a woman? ›
Feeling Of Closeness: We all crave intimacy and cherish the feeling of closeness. Everyone wants someone with whom we can share most of our thoughts, emotions, and feelings as we navigate through the uncertainties of life. Consistent Understanding, trust, and transparency between a man and a woman develop intimacy.What is the secret 12 word text? ›
The 12-word text is a texting strategy by James Bauer that allows you to directly target a man's biological instincts. Every man has an innate drive to be a hero. It's an unconscious desire that motivates all his conscious decisions.How to attract a man with energy? ›
- Show him your playful side. One of the first things you can do to radiate feminine energy to attract a man is to be playful. ...
- Talk with emotions. Another way to radiate feminine energy to attract a man is to speak with emotions and feelings. ...
- Receive graciously. ...
- Stay mysterious. ...
- Use your body language. ...
- Let yourself be pursued.
- Deliberately leave things behind. ...
- Give him some personal space. ...
- Make him wait before replying his texts. ...
- Take things slow. ...
- Wear a unique perfume. ...
- Add some mystery to your experiences together. ...
- Have adventures with him (and your friends)
- Don't Try to Win Him Over.
- Be Mysterious.
- Hold Off From Calling or Texting Him.
- Flirt with Him.
- Don't Give Him the Impression He is The Only Guy in the Picture.
This leaves us with four "basic" emotions, according to this study: happy, sad, afraid/surprised, and angry/disgusted.What is an intense word for want? ›
4 incite, goad, stimulate, spur. 7 aver, asseverate.
- Engage in physical activity.
- Socialize with friends.
- Try something new and exciting.
- Watch an action-packed movie.
The level of mental arousal is the level of excitement, anticipation, stress, aggression, apprehension and nervousness.What causes high levels of arousal? ›
According to the Arousal Theory, there are two main factors that influence one's level of arousal: challenge and threat. When people face challenges or threats in their environment, it causes them to experience heightened levels of arousal.What is empathic arousal? ›
Emotional empathy involves the capacity to either share or become affectively aroused by others' emotions, commonly referred to emotional contagion or empathic arousal.What are the three stages of emotional arousal? ›
Emotional experiences have three components: a subjective experience, a physiological response and a behavioral or expressive response.What are the three level of emotional arousal? ›
With pictures selected from a group test, three levels of arousal were induced--i.e., tense, neutral, and relaxed emotions.How do I make him feel the spark? ›
- Boost your dopamine —together. ...
- Kiss more often. ...
- Remember what it was like when you first met. ...
- Make a list of sexual possibilities. ...
- Keep the mystery alive. ...
- Get in touch with your own sexuality. ...
- Seek out a sex coach.
The main difference between a romantic spark and a good first impression is that an impression springs from an individual feeling, whereas a spark is undeniably mutual, says Jess Carbino, PhD, former sociologist for Tinder and Bumble.What do men secretly want? ›
Men secretly crave to talk about their feelings, men want to be understood, they want to know how to be more vulnerable in relationships, to let their emotions out, and — just like everyone else — want others to care about their feelings. As humans, we need to feel connected to others–to build emotional intimacy.What do men need for intimacy? ›
Just like women, men need love, warmth, closeness, validation, and acceptance. Men are also more physical (due to a higher level of testosterone), and they express these needs for emotional closeness by doing things side by side with their wives.
Contrary to prevailing gender tropes, many men crave deeper emotional connection, work hard for it and don't always receive it in return.What guys do when they are interested? ›
- He leans toward you during conversation.
- He angles his body toward you in the room.
- He finds small ways to compliment you.
- He makes eye contact.
- He steals a glance at you.
- He singles you out in a group.
- He seems drawn to you in the room.
He may not only like to spend time with you, but he might like spending a lot of time with you. Feeling attached at the hip can be one of the most obvious signs a man is attracted to you. He'll likely use his free time, which may usually be reserved for relaxation and hanging out with his friends or family, for you.What is the body language of a guy who likes you? ›
He'll touch his face a lot, while looking at you. If he's interested, he'll stroke his cheek up and down with the back of his fingers, touch his ears or rub his chin. It's a combination of nervous excitement, preening and autoerotic touching.What makes a man feel connected to a woman? ›
In plain language: Men often feel most loved by the women in their lives when their partners hug them, kiss them, smile at them, and explicitly offer gratitude, praise, and words of affection. Men also feel loved and connected through sexuality, often to a greater degree than women do.What makes a man instantly attracted to a woman? ›
Men are attracted to women who are physically attractive, and have a healthy body image. A man wants his woman to be happy with her own body, so he won't be jealous or insecure about it. He wants her to love herself as much as he does. The best way for a woman to do that is by eating well and exercising regularly.How do you tell if a guy feels a connection with you? ›
- He has great memory. ...
- He wants to be committed. ...
- He makes plans to be with you. ...
- He never wants to leave you. ...
- He shares about his family. ...
- He is open to trying your hobbies. ...
- You are his priority. ...
- He follows you on social media.
Be affectionate with him to show him you care.
Physical affection will show him that you care about him while also making him feel closer to you. Stroke his hair, hold his hand, massage his back, or just give him a hug. Use whatever kind of physical affection he likes to connect with him.
According to Steve Harvey, if you provide a man with these three things in a relationship, he won't leave: support, loyalty, and intimacy.When a man is extremely attracted to you? ›
A guy might be sexually attracted to you if he makes flirty eye contact with you and can't stop smiling around you. He might also like you if he touches you often and makes an effort to lean in close to you. A man is probably sexually attracted to you if you catch him staring at you or scanning your body up and down.
Accepting, acknowledging, and appreciating your man for the person he is, helps build a strong bond of love, care, and respect. Working on improving your own skillset while giving them their own personal space, would keep them eager and confident to reach back to you.What do guys not find attractive? ›
Poorly manicured nails, hairy legs and unshaven armpits are major turn-offs for men. Poor personal hygiene cannot be hidden by makeup and nice clothes. Yes, men notice. The sight of a dried heel, oily face or peeling skin is a warning to "back off.” Don't expect to turn him on with cracked lips.