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1 Erma Bombeck "I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage." Getty 2 Charlie Brown "I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast." Getty 3 Nora Ephron "The turkey. The sweet potatoes. The stuffing. The pumpkin pie. Is there anything else we can agree so vehemently about? I don't think so."


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100+ Festive, Famous, and Hilarious Thanksgiving Quotes Written by Shutterfly Community Last Updated: Oct 4, 2023 Thanksgiving day is a time to cherish with your loved ones.


A List Of Thanksgiving Jokes That You Can Drop At The Dinner Table

- Sam Lefkowitz "The Thanksgiving tradition is, we overeat. 'Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?' 'But we do that every day!' 'Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?" —Jim Gaffigan "Thanksgiving—when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn't have to cook."


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Thanksgiving quotes and sayings are perfect for a little inspiration for the Thanksgiving dinner toast, a laugh at the table, or for posting a meaningful family photo after dinner. From the words of modern-day icons to great authors of long ago and public figures, look no further for help getting into the holiday spirit. These Thanksgiving.


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"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.¨ — Jerry Seinfeld "The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families." — Jay McInerney, "The Last of the Savages" "I cook.


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We've curated a list of 17 hilarious Thanksgiving quotes that are perfect for sharing around the table. So, get ready to chuckle, giggle, and embrace the spirit of gratitude with these witty and comical quotes. Gobble 'til You Wobble: 17 Hilarious Thanksgiving Quotes "Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.


Have Fun This Thanksgiving (16 Funny Pics)

In this post, we've rounded up 71 hilarious Thanksgiving wishes and quotes that are guaranteed to bring a smile to everyone's face faster than you can say, "Pass the mashed potatoes, please!" We've sifted through more corny jokes than you can shake a wishbone at, to bring you the cream of the crop.


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"I'm all about that baste." "Activate: Feast Mode." "Don't marsh my mellow." "You've really got your turk cut out for you." "You're the belle of the (Butter)ball." "Why did the chef refuse to crack an egg? He didn't want to whisk it." "Baking is my cardio." "They see me rollin', they hatin'." Jose Luis Pelaez Inc Turkey Puns Turkin' 9 to 5


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Celebrate with laughter this year with these 25 funny Thanksgiving quotes. I celebrated Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. Jon Stewart. Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people.


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— Oscar Wilde "Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year." — P.J. O'Rourke "I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into.


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That shotgun going, BLAM! Everybody at the supermarket just staring. Why track them when I know where they are?" - Kenny Rogerson "This Thanksgiving I hope you're able to avoid the tragedy of the different foods on your plate touching one another" - Anonymous For more wishes and greetings see our Happy Thanksgiving Wishes for Everyone


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Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile. These funny thanksgiving quotes are perfect for a smile! Scatter them around your Thanksgiving table to bring laughs all throughout dinner. 1. Get your fat pants ready! 2. Gobble till ya wobble! 3. Cout your blessings not your calories.


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"May your stuffing be tasty. May your turkey be plump. May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay.


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Funny Thanksgiving Quotes. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad at turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastrami. Someone needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself. - Mitch Hedberg. A new survey found that 80 percent of men claim they help cook Thanksgiving dinner.


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Ambrose Bierce. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving! It's the day you forget about all the fighting and division in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division in your family. Jimmy Fallon. For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag. Andy Borowitz.


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Still deciding. "Not sure if I'm thankful for family or thankful for all the food they brought over." 15. Pre-Thanksgiving pep talk. "Me: Thanksgiving dinner is going to be great but I have to.